Giving 100%: Refining High-Performance

Redefining Performance, Resilience, and Self-Worth in High-Achieving Lives

We live in a culture that idealizes peak performance. Many of us—especially high-performing professionals, entrepreneurs, executives, and creatives—measure our days by output. The “good days” are the ones where everything clicks: we’re focused, efficient, energized, and confident. We power through meetings, return every message, hit our targets, and maybe even squeeze in a workout.

But life doesn’t always give us “ideal days.”

What happens when you’re moving through grief? Or burnout? Or a period of depression or anxiety? What happens when sleep is scarce, or you’re supporting a loved one, or navigating a quiet mental fog?

These aren’t excuses. They’re real parts of life. And on those days, your capacity shifts.

And here’s the important part: If you had 50% of your usual energy—and gave all 50% of it—you gave 100% of what you had.

That’s not falling short. That’s integrity.

Why We Judge Ourselves Unfairly

Many professionals are driven by internal standards that were formed in early environments where achievement was praised, and rest wasn’t always modeled as productive. So we learn to equate performance with worth. Then that wiring becomes automatic.

Psychologically, this tendency is known as performance-based self-esteem—where self-worth is conditional on achievement or perceived success. And while it can be a motivator in the short term, over time, it becomes corrosive.

A 2014 study published in National Institute for Working Life [translated] found that individuals with performance-based self-esteem were significantly more vulnerable to emotional exhaustion and burnout (Hallsten, Josephson & Torgén, 2005). This is because their sense of value becomes entangled with external validation—praise, promotions, productivity metrics.

When capacity dips—as it inevitably does—they don't just feel tired. They feel ashamed.

“Why can’t I get more done?” “Why am I so behind?” “I should be able to handle this.”

But here's the truth: your worth is not dependent on your output.

High Performance Isn’t Linear—And Neither Are You

Let’s take a page from neuroscience for a moment.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive function (think planning, emotional regulation, and decision-making), is highly sensitive to chronic stress. When we're constantly pushing ourselves to perform—regardless of our internal state—the brain shifts into survival mode.

Studies using fMRI imaging have shown that prolonged stress reduces the efficiency of the prefrontal cortex and strengthens more reactive regions of the brain, like the amygdala (McEwen, 2017; Arnsten, 2009). In burnout, this often translates to:

• Decreased focus and attention

• Poor decision-making

• Emotional numbness or volatility

• Feeling “checked out,” even while working

This isn’t laziness. It’s your nervous system saying: we need to recalibrate.

The good news? These changes are reversible. But it starts with how you relate to your effort.

Let’s Reframe “Effort”

When we measure ourselves only by outcomes—whether that’s closed deals, client wins, creative projects launched, or emails returned—we ignore a vital truth: effort doesn’t always look productive on the outside.

Sometimes, effort looks like:

• Logging into a Zoom call while grieving

• Answering two emails when your brain is foggy

• Showing up to a team meeting, even if you stay quiet

• Saying “no” to one more task, because you know it would tip you over

These are not signs of slacking. They’re signs of wisdom, adaptability, and self-leadership.

True leadership isn’t just about high output—it’s about responding to life with honesty, flexibility, and care. It’s about matching your response to your current reality.

A New Definition of “Enough”

So what does enough look like in this new paradigm?

Let’s say today, your energy is at 40%. But you use that 40% mindfully: maybe you reschedule a meeting, complete one important task, and take a walk to restore yourself.

You didn’t “waste” the other 60%. You preserved it—for tomorrow.

This kind of thinking supports long-term performance. Research on self-compassion backs this up.

In a 2014 randomized controlled trial, participants who underwent self-compassion training showed reduced cortisol levels and improved heart-rate variability—both signs of a healthier stress response (Arch et al., 2014). Another study in Mindfulness found that self-compassion enhances resilience and reduces burnout in professionals over time (Raab, 2014).

So when you choose to honor your limits—not ignore them—you’re not giving up. You’re practicing the kind of leadership that lasts.

From Hustle to Healing: A Call to Normalize Capacity

It’s time we normalize something quietly radical: effort that honors capacity.

Let’s stop celebrating only the loud victories—the big wins, the all-nighters, the "crushing it" energy. Let’s also celebrate:

• The therapist who shows up after a hard personal morning

• The founder who takes a mental health day and sets an example for her team

• The parent who closes the laptop at 5pm because connection matters more than KPIs

• The entrepreneur that takes a vacation and restores their energies, even when it means their bottom line won't be as nice

• The creative that takes a step back and seeks inspiration when they need it

• The worker that uses every ounce of their total compensation [i.e. leaves, PTO, etc.]

• The boss that gives latitude for their employees to be human

This is the quiet 100%. The part that doesn’t show up on performance reports—but builds the foundation of a truly sustainable life.

🌱 Try This: A Gentle Self-Check-In

Here’s a practice you can use today or anytime you feel like you’re “not doing enough”:

1. Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself: What do I have to give today—mentally, emotionally, physically?

2. Scale it. If your full capacity is 100, where are you right now? Be honest.

3. Honor it. Plan your day around that number—not yesterday’s energy or next week’s goals.

This isn’t a weakness. It’s real-time leadership.

Final Thoughts: You Are Still Whole

Your energy will ebb and flow. Your performance will vary. But your worth? It doesn’t change. It's inherent and undisputable.

You are still a committed, capable professional—even on your slower days. Especially on your slower days. Because showing up with presence, humility, and honesty is its own kind of mastery.

If this message resonates, feel free to pass it along to a colleague or friend. Or, if you’d like to explore this more deeply with a therapist who understands the high-achiever mindset and the toll it can take, I invite you to reach out. Whether it’s with Gwen Preston Counselling & Psychotherapy or another trusted professional, support is here.

References:

• Hallsten, L., Josephson, M., & Torgén, M. (2005). Performance-based self-esteem: A driving force in burnout processes and its assessment. Burnout Research.

• Arnsten, A. F. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience.

• McEwen, B. S. (2017). Neurobiological and systemic effects of chronic stress. Chronic Stress.

• Arch, J. J., Brown, K. W., Dean, D. J., et al. (2014). Self-compassion training modulates stress response. Journal of Clinical Psychology.

• Raab, K. (2014). Self-compassion as a protective factor for burnout in professionals. Mindfulness.