
Alrighty my fellow human being! If you are looking for ways to bring some peace to a chaotic mind full of to-do lists, possibilities, concerns, regrets, and anxiety, then you’ve come to the right place! Perhaps you feel like you are cut off from the things and people which matter to you the most. Perhaps you feel as if you are missing out on important stuff or like you’re lacking the ability to truly appreciate what you have. Perhaps you want to do things that matter, but it seems like when you finally try, you end up doing things poorly. These types of feelings often stem from distraction or difficulty focusing on what’s in front of you right now.
You may have heard the phrase - the time is now. The time is now because it is the only time when we have power, the power to take action. Our pasts and futures exist only as memories, reflections, predictions, and plans in our minds: They only exist as thoughts which are happening in this moment. There are endless ways in which we can view our pasts or plan for the future, so finding ways to come back into the present moment is a very useful skill for anyone and everyone who desires to live according to their own values, to ensure they’re not missing out, or to understand themselves better.
Knowing how to come back to the present moment has many benefits! It can help us see what is happening around us more accurately. It can help us make better decisions. It can help create a sense of satisfaction or even pride. It can help us be productive. It can help us perform more effectively… Trust me when I say I could make a whole post just about the benefits of being present in the here-and-now, but I think this is a sufficient summary! So let’s talk about the nitty-gritty how-to. HOW does someone take allllllllll of the chaos happening inside their mind, set it aside, and reconnect with the present moment? What strategies can be used for a calm mind?
Connecting with the present moment breaks down into three skills which are deeply interconnected; engaging, savoring, and focusing. These three skills or strategies function like a group of muscles instead of separate motors. You can place emphasis on one or the other but ultimately you’ll be using 2 or 3 of them at any given time.
Strategy #1: Engaging
When life almost inevitably starts to feel unsatisfying, engaging with what exists with you in the here-and-now can help create a sense of connection. That connection might be with yourself, loved ones, animals, nature, or really anything that matters to you. You’ll know when you’re unsatisfied and feeling disconnected when you start describing life as boring, monotonous, or unmotivating. By re-engaging with your environment and experience, it brings your attention to all of the parts which contribute to the richness of an experience regardless of whether it is pleasant or not. Thereby, we can appreciate the parts which we prefer and identify areas in which we’d like to create some change.
Great! That still doesn't tell me how! I hear ya’. Engaging can be brought about by noticing. For the sake of this example, let’s focus on your hand. Notice it like a curious child! If some humor makes it easier, pretend you’re an alien who’s never seen a human’s hand before, or that you’re Steve Irwin describing this wonderful hand he’s found in its natural environment! (I read that in a bad Aussie accent, did you?) With your palms facing upwards, notice your hands shape - trace your fingers, wrists, and the large lines. Notice the colours. There won’t be just one. Notice how those colours and the shapes of your hand change as you move it in different ways. Now notice the finer lines. Notice how your fingerprint pattern extends down your fingers and into your palm and interacts with those bigger lines. Notice any scars, blemishes, or other marks. Notice any judgments about your hand. Flip your hand over and notice your fingernails and cuticles. How are they shaped and coloured? The goal is to notice every little detail - to really and truly see your hands for all they are, regardless of any judgements, criticisms, compliments, or appreciation.
Strategy #2: Savoring
Before we discuss savoring, please note that this is exclusively for those things which are potentially pleasant, for things which you appreciate. This skill is not for dwelling in your pain or discomfort. The aim is to help truly enjoy life, be it the little things or the finer things. For this example, let’s focus on something simple which we all must do to sustain life: drink. Do you have a beverage with you? Water? Tea? Any beverage you have handy that you enjoy will do. If not, take a moment and go get one!
Ok, you ready? I invite you to hold your beverage. Take a look at it. What do you see? What does the container look like in color, shape, and size? Notice how you’re holding it. Where do your fingers make contact with the container, with other fingers? Is it comfortable? Now notice the temperature. Is it warm or cool? Is this temperature satisfying in some way, like warming cold hands or creating cool condensation on a warm day? Does this beverage have a sound - maybe due to carbonation? Does it sound fizzy? It is high or low pitched. Is it what you expected? Can you smell it? Think about how you’d describe that smell. Finally, give it a tiny little taste. What flavors, if any, are present. Notice if there are any textures. Is it fizzy, smooth, or thin? Taste it again. How do you feel when you drink it? Does it bring up any memories? The goal of savoring is to create a sense of appreciation or gratitude for little pleasures that pepper our days, but often go unnoticed or underappreciated. It is a return to the first time you tried something and the moment you decided you liked it. Why did you like it? Do you still?
Strategy #3: Focusing
When we want to do well or perform effectively, we need to know what’s going on and be able to take in the right information. To do so, we must narrow, widen, sustain, or shift focus, and we need to know which of these contains the most important thing at that moment. This is an important strategy or skill for both pleasant and difficult times.
To learn how to narrow and sustain focus, we can practice mindful breathing. To do so, I invite you to set a short timer for 2-5 minutes then find a relaxing position, close your eyes, and follow these instructions: Focus on your breathing. Notice air moving into and out of your lungs. Notice how your chest expands and contracts to move the air around. Notice the time in which it takes to breathe. Do not control your breaths, simply notice them. If (and when) you notice you’re controlling your breaths or you’ve gotten distracted, simply make your observation and refocus on breathing.
To learn how to widen and shift focus, we can practice a body scan: Start by noticing the lowest point on your body, your feet! Where are they? How do they feel? Where are they touching other things, such as your clothes, or the ground, or a chair? Are they a comfortable temperature? Now move up to your calves. Ask yourself the same questions. Repeat this process with your thighs, buttock, back, chest/stomach, arms, hands, neck, and head, or with whatever groupings make sense to you. As you move through your body parts, we are simply looking to describe your experience in the here and now. In this very moment and only in this very moment.
Want to get a real sense of these exercises? Set a 5-minute timer and really notice what you’re experiencing. Settle into the moment. Now, 5 minutes may seem long but if you can really lean into a sense of curiosities, there’s a lot of details to notice! In this way, we can engage and get curious about anything in life. You may find you learn something new or experience a shift in attitude towards things you intentionally engage with. You may even notice how your attitude towards that thing or person informs how you engage with it.
Now that you’ve read about engaging, savoring, and focussing, I encourage you to practice these things in your own life. Experiment with when, where, and how you practice these skills. Start with quiet moments and build the skills up until you can confidently bring them into increasingly tough moments. Perhaps more importantly, show yourself compassion when it doesn’t work and try again tomorrow. You’re human! You have a great ability to learn, but learning takes time. We’re looking for progress, not perfection.
Additionally, if these skills peak your curiosity and you’d like to know more, I encourage you to reach out to me through this website or find another acceptance and commitment (ACT) therapist near you. This truly is just a taste of what ACT and I have in store!
Not sure if therapy is right for you? There are tons of reasons for talking to a professional! Maybe there’s something you’re struggling with - something uncomfortable or even painful. Maybe you’re going through a transition. Maybe you have something that you just don’t know what to do with. Maybe you feel like you don’t understand yourself or others the way you want to. Maybe you have some goals which you know are possible but are struggling to obtain effectively. Again, I can list many more reasons, but if any of those resonate with you - it may be time to reach out. I provide free consultation calls, as do many psychotherapists. You can also find my contact information on this website.
Finally, let’s pause and provide credit where credit is due. The article above reflects standard ACT perspectives and strategies filtered through the way I have interpreted them for my own practice. I have not reinvented or created anything new and spectacular. Many ACT therapists use these and similar strategies to bring about long-standing change in clients. More specifically, much of what was written here was inspired by ACT Made Simple (2019) by Russ Harris. For any aspiring therapists or counselors out there, this is on my top 5 must-reads.
With that said, I’ll leave you and your wonderfully flexible brain with its ability to expand or narrow its focus on command, to consider what you’ve read today. Have fun! Be curious! Experiment! The results might just be pleasantly surprising!
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