The freedom of summer is an exciting thing, full of warmth, exploration, and relaxation!! Unfortunately, all good things must end. Whether you’re a student, teacher, or someone who uses their PTO and vacation days to get that summer feeling, going back to routine as the weather cools off marks the end of a season; And sometimes…change is hard.
This change of season and routine can also come with a significant decrease in time spent outdoors or in sunlit areas, which can contribute to seasonal blues. You may also have seasonal activities such as camping, sports teams, or BBQs which slow to a grinding halt as the leaves change colour: Cooling the breeze and your social life simultaneously. Perhaps additionally, you may also find your yard or balcony inaccessible during the winter months, creating a sense of loss of space or weather-dependent activities like gardening. If these things factor into the seasonal blues for you, only you can say. Surely, there are also things you find impactful about the seasonal change that were not mentioned here.
In any case, we humans are not particularly fond of change. From an evolutionary perspective, change comes with risk. According to our brains as organs - risk means a lack of safety and therefore a threat to our well-being. (Even if that change is older than humans and as predictable as the changing seasons). However, we are also deeply aware we cannot prevent the change of weather, so we seldom try to fight it. Those lucky retirees we call snow birds being the exception to the rule.
So, we don’t fight the weather. Yet, we resist the change in routine that’s baked into our culture. We wish we didn’t have to go, or that life could pause for an eternal summer.
There is a sentiment floating around out there, which I do not know the source of but it often mistakenly attributed to Buddah: But it’s a true enough statement from an ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) perspective that I’ll share it here regardless:
It is not change that is painful, but rather the resistance to change that causes pain.
In ACT, we call that experiential avoidance, which is a jargoned term that boils down to the idea that we avoid anything uncomfortable, including (perhaps especially) internal experiences of discomfort. Internal experiences are thoughts, feelings, urges, memories, physical sensations, etc. As a therapist, I know its experiential avoidance of an uncomfortable internal experience that’s showing up when my client says they “just want to get rid of” something happening inside. It’s common for the emotions in play to be some degree of anger, disgust, sadness, or fear.
When it comes to the back-to-school blues, the following uncomfortable and challenging feelings are common:
sadness
irritation (anger)
a sense of loss (a type of sadness) of freedom or activities or space
fear of the unknown (i.e. what the year will bring)
fear of mental health challenges (i.e. seasonal affective disorder, depression, anxiety)
memories and fear of returning to a difficult environment and people (i.e. school or workplace bullies)
denial of reality
ignoring the necessary preparations for the coming change
Ok, so, if resistance or avoidance is the problem. What do you do with that information? Ultimately, we try to move into a place of acceptance - specifically acceptance of the change itself. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings and move through them is step number one; Step number two, and the focus for the rest of this blog, is to reframe your perspective.
Reframing is a skill, so give yourself time to learn it and get comfortable with the concept. In the case of the back-to-school blues, we can reframe the change of the seasons as a few different things. Below is a list of other ways to see the end of summer. Give this list a read, see if any of them speak to you. If you find one, practice reframing any thoughts or emotions that show up which have to do with “the end of summer and the discomfort of change” as your preferred perspective. If you reframe it often enough, the organ that is your brain will begin to accept it and start shifting into a more flexible mode of being.
You got to enjoy the luxuries of summer. You got to taste the freedom and savor the warmth. You are grateful for the chance to enjoy it (even if it wasn’t as long or indulgent as you’d prefer). What a thrill!
You get to see the leaves change colour, feel cool breezes, and enjoy autumn activities, if you so choose to. The freedoms and choices are different, but you get to make them nonetheless!
You get to cozy up and settle in for winter, with its festive holidays and maybe even a crackling fire or two.
You’ve enjoyed summer foods and treats and activities - now you get to enjoy new seasonal foods and experience warmth in a different way but holding it in your hands, tasting it in spices, and feeling it in your belly during meals.
With a return to cool-weather routines, perhaps there are people or places you haven’t seen or experienced in a while. What a joy it is to return to something or someone after a break!
You no longer have to deal with the stinky, sweaty, and sticky bodies of others and yourself, the unbearable heat and blazing mid-day sun without a body of water to cool in, the poor sleeps without a breeze or air conditioning, sunscreen (or sunburns) and bug spray, or any other physical discomfort that comes with high heat.
With the cooling weather, your fashion options are different, and you can wear that beloved item that’s just not summer-friendly, or shop for new ones!
With fewer activities and seasonal distractions, it may be easier to stick to that routine or goal you’ve been trying (maybe failing) to make into a habit! Autumn is a wonderful time to set up success for any exercise, dietary, social, or personal goals which will create a more satisfying and meaningful winter. Refocusing from novelty-seeking to healthy and satisfying habits.
You may have noticed, there’s something of a theme here. Nothing, not even summer, doesn’t come with its pros and cons. To help shift from one season to another, when you notice that emotional resistance, you can choose to focus either; on the uncomfortable aspects of the thing that’s changing (summer); or better yet, to focus on the pleasant aspects of the thing to come (Autumn, winter, spring; resurgence of routines).
As a bonus - sometimes it can be helpful to use humor when reframing and practicing new skills. Your brain won’t always cooperate initially but using a bit of humor, you can think of you and your brain as two different beings with two different agendas - one who is safety-driven at all costs, and one who understands that after basic safety needs are met, comfort is an important directive!: Now who do you want to be in charge? You, a complex being full of personality, drive, and ideals? Or the 3-pounds of pinkish-grayish electrochemical goo floating around in your noggin? Both of you are stubborn, surely. But in this game of wits and skill - you can be victorious!! Your capacity to be flexible, learn, and persevere is what will win out over the brain’s quick speed and automatic processes. It may always get the first word, but with a little bit of noticing and a little bit of correction - you can have the final word!
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